Conceal the Truth

Ladies and gentlemen, it's been two months since I left Tagum City towards the place lying in the shadow of mount apo and the home of the famous durian, which smells like hell but tastes like heaven. It has been two months of hits and misses, despair and real-life lessons from life's tremendous challenges. Being in Davao City now for almost a couple of month made me realize of how the life can be cruel or not.

I must admit : At first, it's really, reay hard. Being a freshman at the College of Governance, Business and Economics of the University of Southeastern Philippines, I have to adjust on some things I didn't do before. My life usually starts at six in the morning. By then, I have to scan my notes to feed my min just before i feed my stomach. It has been my daily routine. Especially on Wednesdays, when my "favorite" subject [COLLEGE ALGEBRA] is at helm, I have to redouble my effort to cope with the vague vexations that Math could offer to me. My classes starts at 8 am by MWF and 9 am by TTh. I was blessed with these skeds. I have to cook on my own to supplement my nutrition. My classes ends by 2:30 pm. Afterwhich, I'll go to the library for some research and read newspapers. Newspapers has been my outlet for information for two months because in White House [our dormitory], we don't have any television set. Just an ample of a radio set. What else would I utilize? Hahaha. During weekends, I used to watch TV at my ate's boarding house in Palm Drive, Bajada, Davao City. After my library hours, I went back to our dorm to wash my clothes. My efforts are not in vain. Why? My dear professor, Prof. Christine Besana of NatSci I General Chemistry, acclaimed me for my polo's very, very white. Hahahaha! Napansin nga. Tide kasi ang gamit.

During nightime, together with my boardmates, we used to study lessons. Group study, specifically. Of course, I have to eat my dinner. It's fun to have new friends eating together the foods we have cooked. Bulad, Tinapa, Afritada, Pansit, Adobo, Udong, Noodles, Pancit Canton, Monggos and the like are usually our viands.

I go to bed by 11 pm.

During Thursdays, I have a one-on-one Bible Study with Kuya Julius Margate [my boardmate who's also a Jesus Disciple Movement Preacher]. It will run for an hour. It's fun and we have enriching moments to the Creator. First time po ito nangyari sa buhay ko.
Surprisingly, I was elected as the Class Mayor of our Block and the Filipino President. I don't know whether I had the charisma that could attract people. I think I have the magnet in me. Hahahaha. Just last week, I had my first meeting for the Student Project Action Team of the Supreme Student Council of the University. I used to become a leader. Don't know. Pero dapat panindigan yung award ni Kabayan Noli as Exemplary Leadership sa Ten Outstanding Public School Students. Before accepting the task, I had thoughts to concentrate myself purely on academics. But I can't resist. My calling is in Leadership.

Before going to sleep, at my bed, I relinquish and reminish the moments and memoirs there in Tagum City with my friends. No single night that I never think of Tagum -- my family, friends, princess, my alma mater and my teachers -- and the memoirs that made it special. I miss Tagum.

College Life is indeed tiring. How I wish i coud go back the high school years where life is indeed happier!

But I guess this is life. Whether I like it or like it, I have no choice. Im now college student. This is a turning point for me and I have to accept the callenge of being a full-grown homo sapiens. I have to stand what my shirt reads:

ISKOLAR NG BAYAN.

Is there anybody out there who knows how to mend a broken heart?

University Life is indeed a blast! We are hoodwinked to face series of assignments, researches, mind - boggling lectures and challenging professors. All in one with just one common denominator : PRESSURE.

That's why I would look forward to Friday Afternoons.
It's all worth spending.

I will tell you why.

During the last four years in my life, Friday is my favorite day of the week. I don't know why. Maybe it's because it's the start of my weekend; a time when i can bond with my friends ad family and do my personal stuff at home.

That was four years ago until such a devastating one arrived yesterday. To be precise, i had deleted it in my slum book-material Friday being my fave day. It's ow my hatest day of the week.

It started when...

I recieved a friendster message yesterday and it contains a disastrous content for me that it shook me to the tiniest corners of my bones and leaved a warmth in the shallow corners of my disbaled heart.

Oops, I have proven an opinion. But facts prove otherwise.

For the past five months, I am in love with someone special. I don't know the exact reason but i Really, Really don't know. Maybe it's True Love beacuse it was the first time i ever felt this great and magical feeling.

I am studying at the University of Southeastern Philippines - College of Governance, Business and Economics in Davao City and I'm taking up Bachelor of Science in Public Administration. This a new place for me : new adjustments, new friends, new neighborhood but never have experienced a "tug-dug" in my heart until now.That means I have never seen someone with attitudes and ways similar to those of my princess. That's made her unique in the crowd. Kaya nga in -- love eh. Hehehehe...

That's the point. Im still haunted with the past that I just can't seem to move on! I cannot find the courage to move on and look for someone better and someone that could make me smile.
Zyzle Jean Zaragosa, a good friend of mine, recently surprised me with a comment that reads:

"Go for someone who makes you happy.
Go for someone who makes you smile.
Go for someone who will make you day complete."

Maybe, i Just have to move on and make my past a thing of the future. Past that was the venue of crafting my great dreams and some ambitions extraordinaire. I have to think of my future because my past is now taking - off to the vagabond of happiness in the future. It's sad and it's true that the truth may be hard, but it is really the truth. It hurts.

As one author said:

" The past and the future are dreams. Now is the reality. Not to act and accomplish now is not to act and accomplish at all."

I'm still looking forward to see myself fulfilling the dreams of the past and see my future children enjoyig my story as I am going to tell them mine. I'm still looking forward to end up with my princess in the future. Consequently, only heaven knows!
Maybe it's time for me to think of my future now. But I'm hoping and waiting.

And I want to make it during Friday afternoons.

To love and to be loved is the essence of our existence.
How many people had said that cliche?
Perhaps... billions.

Yes, its true. There is no denying this phenomenon aided by the fact that what was everything here in Earth rises and falls on such a vague thing called LovE.
Oops, I have proven it myself.

At age sixteen, I fell in love with a friend. It was loe on a millionth sight. I don't know. I knew her before bu did not find any single speck of reason to like her or love her before. We were the Perfect Strangers, though we're classmates for two years. Love has its reasons, and that reason? We don't know.

Love remains a mystery for me as if I am still looking for The One.

I'm on the process of Moving On.

I'm finding my way back into love. [I've been living with a shadow over head I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed I've been lonely for so long Trapped in the past i just can't seem to move on]
That past?

We'll, i invoke my right to privacy.

But this I will disclose:

As long as I think of her [my princess], I can think of how good it is to love. That's the first point. The second point is that, how tragic I am in erms of love. Maybe it's just true that the wisest of men are the most foolish in love. Nope, I'm not a wise person, but still I am a great love idiot.

Thinking of her is such a wonderful feeling. But thinking of her, on the other hand, made me remind of the glorious past. Thinking of her reminds me of love and as long as I remember her, it connotes and corresponds only one word for me : EKS.
I still love her nowadays. I mean that. Que Sera Sera. Whatever will be, will be. Loving her completes me. And that is what life means for me.

Someday, our roads will cross once again. When that moment arrives, I still tend to believe what we are about to live: to love and to be loved.

Yes, someday we will meet once again. That would made me think one more time that I have a heart with a sign that reads:

EKS.